The dark side

 

You know that famous quote from Star Wars

 

 “Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering”

 

 With the next episode on the horizon I remembered some of the great lines in the old films and how they have a lot of truth in them. I can relate to this one in particular more then most of the other ones and I would like to share why this is with you so that maybe it can help any reader that feels that they have hit a road block or feels that that something is holding them back from progressing further in life.  

For a long time after my 2nd operation I was suffering and it wasn’t just because of the therapy and painful recovery time. It was the fear that I could never again live to the extent others can and wouldn’t ever be able to accomplish my dreams due to the limitations left by the cancers.

 

Time went on and as all I was doing was feeling sorry for my self of course I was spiralling further down a dark hole (the dark side) of depression almost giving up totally. I felt so angry at the world for letting me go through all of this and then not throwing anything my way that I thought I had the right to. I hated everyone that had it so easy and took everything for granted that thought I had no chance of ever being able to do again. Ultimately I now realise that the only person I had a right to be angry with and hate was myself for not finding ways to deal with my limitations and moving on. I had now completed my path to the dark side and graduated to suffering.

 

I forced myself to carry on attending evening lectures and social events. During these and with free time on my hand I started to think what the ultimate route of my unhappiness was.  After hearing a talk about love I adopted a theory, which I called ‘The Time Line’ in a nutshell the theory explains that there are certain rewards i.e. a good job, great friends . . . which a person may be destined to receive. However; these rewards exist on a certain level on The Time Line and people on the same level can only receive them. The levels of the time line relate to ones ability to love and respect himself and everyone around him.

 

My favourite passage throughout all of the lectures I’ve been to and books I’ve read is ‘love your neighbour like your self’’ in translation it is saying in order to form any kind of relation with anyone else you must first learn to love your self. I believe that it is this that can help you climb levels in the time line.

 

 Another quote, by yet again ‘Yoda’ helped me to accomplish this

 

        “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose”

 

I learnt to stop focusing on everything that I couldn’t do due to my limitations and focus on what it means to still be able to do the things I could in spite of all I’ve been through, that is when I changed the direction of my path and started to climb levels in The Time Line. Now I have great friends, embark on amazing new experiences in my exciting new flat share and have a job that I love to wake up for every morning. I don’t know if George Lucas was hi or drunk when he directed the Star Wars saga, but that film definitely has quite a few life lessons in it and it’s a great film too!

 

If you would like to add your own thoughts or have any ideas for me to incorporate in my next post please add a comment below. If you have any other thought or request that you’d rather send direct to me my email address is doron.barsam@gmail.com, it’s always nice to hear from my readers.

 

Till next time 

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